How to avoid epic fail with green salad

Too many people have no idea what a real salad is. They know it involves lettuce and dressing, but don't know much beyond that.

Let me put it this way: anyone who slices iceburg lettuce, drizzles salad dressing on it, and eats it like that has just committed EPIC SALAD FAIL.

You know those bags of "salad" you see in the stores? The ones with lettuce, carrot, and cabbage? That is not salad. That is Epic Salad Fail.

First of all, a real salad should have no iceberg lettuce whatsoever. Iceberg lettuce is the drooling, retarded cousin of real lettuce. It has no real nutritional value to speak of and tastes like nothing.

Secondly, lettuce is not even a requirement for green salad.

A proper green salad should have several of the items on this list...

  • Alfalfa sprouts
  • Arugula
  • Bean sprouts
  • Broccoli
  • Cabbage
  • Cauliflower
  • Celery
  • Chard
  • Cucumber
  • Mushrooms
  • Parsely
  • Pepper
  • Onion and/or scallion
  • Radishes
  • Radish leaves
  • Spinach
  • Tomato

    If you don't have or have never even heard of some of the items I've listed, don't panic. You don't need them to make an epic salad... but they do help.